Can I Get Divorced Without Going to Court?
Apr 7, 2025 | Written by: | Share
Can you get divorced without going to court? In short, in the State of New Jersey, the answer is YES!
In fact, the majority of cases are handled in this manner, in what is usually referred to as a divorce “on the papers,” where the settlement agreement and final paperwork are submitted to the court electronically.
While each attorney, case, client, and even jurisdiction is different, in my practice, wherever possible, I prefer not to immediately file a complaint for divorce with the court. Of course, there are exceptions and circumstances that may require the filing of a complaint, such as an emergent issue with jurisdiction or children or domestic violence.
However, instead, when feasible, I send an introductory letter[1] indicating my representation, a desire to resolve the issues amicably, and a request for the exchange of information. There is no lack of advocacy in this approach and to the contrary, it may allow for more control over your matter, and less costs in the long run.
Of course, if one party does not respond in a timely manner (typically after a few weeks), then you may want to discuss filing for divorce formally to start the process. In New Jersey, you can and will get divorced regardless of whether the other party “wants” to do so, and if a party chooses to ignore service of a divorce complaint, there are procedures (default) to proceed without them. In other words, while your spouse can perhaps delay things and be difficult, the ultimate conclusion remains that you will be divorced, and if it is found that your spouse has purposefully delayed or otherwise acted in bad faith in this regard, that party could be ordered to be responsible for your legal fees.
If there were an “ideal” way to handle a divorce (or any family law type of matter), it is to stay out of court and resolve the issue through the attorneys, or possibly mediation or arbitration. Staying out of court allow you to keep some control over your case; you are not beholden to the system’s deadlines and due dates, which may not be helpful or applicable to your case.
If settlement of your matter outside of court is possible, then after the terms are resolved and a final settlement is executed, we then file the complaint for divorce and accompanying paperwork with the court. These documents are filed electronically and no appearance is required. With this approach, it is likely that you will never set foot inside a courtroom.
In 2025, the majority of cases are submitted to the court electronically and without the need to go to court to be divorced. While 98% (+/-) of cases settle, they do so at different points along the continuum of the divorce process. If you are able to settle your case without filing for divorce or relatively early in the process, then yes, avoiding court appearances, conferences and so on is highly probable, but if one party files a complaint, it would NOT be unusual to have one court experience in the process, even though your divorce may ultimately be processed on the papers.
[1] This letter is typically coordinated with the client to be sent electronically at a preferred date/time to try to eliminate surprise and more angst.
Diana N. Fredericks, Esq., devotes her practice solely to family law matters. She is a Certified Matrimonial Law Attorney and was named to the NJ Super Lawyers Rising Stars list in the practice of family law by Thomson Reuters from 2015 through 2021, to the NJ Super Lawyers list in 2023, 2024, and 2025, and to the New Leaders of the Bar list by the New Jersey Law Journal in 2015. Contact Ms. Fredericks for a consultation at 908-735-5161 or via email.
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Any statements made herein are solely for informational purposes only and should not be relied upon or construed as legal advice.